I'm sorry to be so melodramatic, but "life" has a way of happening to any of us when we least expect it. When you are young and/or healthy, getting to live how you want and pursue any passion you desire is a luxury that you only realize as such once it's taken away for good. That said, I suppose it's a good thing to do everything you want while you can - as long as it doesn't take away your ability to weather the 'real storms' life may throw at you tomorrow.
Dan, I'm really sorry about your health situation. Life sometimes hits hard and in ways that seemingly have no resolution, and when that happens, a person's perspectives and priorities are bound to shift in ways that can be hard to take.
I've lived for many years with an awareness that the things I value and call my own can be taken from me, and ultimately will be, whether in an instant or in a long, slow decline. Saying this may sound like a statement of fear, but it's not; it's just a frank recognition, at the no longer youthful age of 55, that life is a progression, and I want to live that progression in a way that maximizes the blessing and passion of what it offers while making room for its losses and recognizing that none of it is truly mine to own. Of course, saying that and walking it out are two different things, which is why I originally posted on this topic. It's hard to describe how deeply frustrated I felt at times this season--but that's part of the package of really caring about anything we do: dealing with how it feels when, for one reason or another, we don't get to do it. For me, my very attitude reminded me that there's more to life, and that I needed to reclaim my sense of proportion. Without that, I get very unhappy and sometimes just plain ugly.
As long as I'm able to chase, I will. It's one of my two main pursuits in life, the other being jazz saxophone. Still, there's a lot more to me, a lot to any of us, and sometimes losing one thing, whether temporarily or long-term, helps us reclaim other parts of ourselves and even discover new parts. No, it's not easy. It's just possible, and even inevitable. So I thank God for a loving woman, a wonderful family, close friends who help me see the world with different eyes, and other satisfying interests such as hiking, fishing, wildflower photography, writing, enjoying craft beer, and so on.
With all that said, I'm glad for those of you whose circumstances have optimized your ability to chase storms. And for those who, like me, got your wings clipped this year, I hope that 2012 will be a better year for us all.
Dan, I will pray for you. You've been one of the constants here on Stormtrack ever since I joined, and I hold you in respect.
