Convincing the Significant Other...

[John Diel]

I "convince" mine with lots of chocolate. It gets a little rough in the spring when I'm out and about and there ARE times when it does get in the way of family funtions, but for the most part, she understands. It's kind of like when I was fishing tournaments. She understood as long as the major family functions were attended. I've only dodged the F5 Frying pan once or twice in 10 years.

 

[David Wolfson]

My wife enjoys chasing a lot in her own ways, but "some professional help" is a good idea a few times. The suggestion of the DuPage tour experience sounds like a good one for you, without breaking the bank.

TTI it's lonely chasing without her (and I believe she feels the same way), so the solution is a compromise that will respect our varied interests. Since she's an aspiring painter wanting to perfect her plein air skills, I think we have a good match next spring and beyond and beyond....

 

[Tony Laubach]

I'm lucky with my lady in terms of my chasing. As with any relationship, I told them that chasing was part of the package and I would not be giving it up. She's been with me a few times and doesn't really enjoy it too much, but she understands my passion for it and realizes its something I love more than anything. While I'm not saying take her chasing, but I guess with me, it was easier to take her along and show her how I was when I am out there. I haven't had any issues with it, even if I am gone for two weeks on very little notice.

 

[Jeff Snyder]

I agree with most of the comments here. I think the OP said his "significant other" was his fiance, and it makes a difference if that sig. other is a new girlfriend or a wife. If she knows it's important to you, and she knows you love doing it, she really shouldn't a problem letting you go do something you love. Now, the OP is new to chasing, so I could certainly see why his siggy other would be hesitant. The above (she should let you go if she knows that it's a part of you) refers to those who chase regularly and have for a while. Many folks have misconceptions about chasing, so you getting a few chases under your belt should help show her what chasing is really like (which, much of the time, is sitting under a hot sun in some desolate location for a few hours before driving hours to set up for the next day's wishcast LOL). Build up her trust and make her confident that you can keep yourself safe by chasing several times, and I think it'll be easier for her to stop worrying.

From my own experience, I've found it easiest to call her during the "down-time" of the chase to touch bases. In addition, when you are home, make sure you give a little extra attention to your relationship (cards and flowers help). My wife knows chasing is a passion of mine, and she's never told me not to go out. That said, I know that she sometimes gets disappointed when I have to back out of a movie-night or something for a last-minute chase, so make sure that you make extra effort to show her that, just because you back out of a datenight or something else, you still value her OVER chasing (assuming you want this to be a long-term relationship). My wife understands that I obviously value her over chasing, but she realizes that chasing opportunities are limited (usually to a few months a year, a few times a week, with several long-term downtimes). As such, I can't always plan to chase 4-5 days ahead of time, and the extended chase times will be followed by extended downtime. My wife has chased with me numerous times through the years, though most frequently during the terrible 2002 year. Actually, I'm insanely frustrated that my success ratio when she's in the car is terrible (1 or maybe 2 "good" chases through probably 15-20 total chases with her). I really, really want to get her on a 'blockbuster'-type of chase, since she's given the time and energy to keep me company on many chases in the past and hasn't seen much a reward in terms of beautiful storms or tornadoes. Statistically, it's bound to happen sometime, I suppose...

 

[Dave Gallaher]

Well, I chased tornadoes alone, and unsuccessfully, since the late 1970s. Last April 7, I took along the woman I'd been dating for a year at that time for her first ever chase outing, a nearby chase enhanced by the first ever day-prior high risk (thanks, SPC). I had slowly enticed her with cellphone calls from the field over the previous two seasons ("Wow--I wish you could see these clouds--they are incredible!" etc etc)

Not only was she an eagle-eyed field spotter, but before long she was muttering at her camera for not cooperating on the mammatus she was shooting--true chase behavior.

And she, and I, saw our first tornadoes that day (thanks for nowcasting, Bob Shafer).

This has to be a new definition of "getting lucky."

 

[PeteMcConnell]

Forget about the countless times I have chased and come up emptyhanded as far as tornadoes are concerned. The first time my wife chased with me we saw three tornadoes near Mulvane, KS. I should bring her more often.

 

[Tony Laubach]

Actually, I'm insanely frustrated that my success ratio when she's in the car is terrible (1 or maybe 2 "good" chases through probably 15-20 total chases with her). I really, really want to get her on a 'blockbuster'-type of chase, since she's given the time and energy to keep me company on many chases in the past and hasn't seen much a reward in terms of beautiful storms or tornadoes. Statistically, it's bound to happen sometime, I suppose...

Funny Jeff... my wife (common-law before I shock anyone) considers herself a jinx to me... although I have put her in some pretty cool (to me) situations. For instance, she went with me on May 10, 2004 where I introduced her to baseball sized hail near the CO/WY border. All the while, Verne Carlson, a fellow Colorandan, was enjoying a half dozen tornadoes less than 50 miles from home. Her first big (overnight) chase was the big May 24, 2004 bust in which we dogged over 1500 miles for absolutely nothing (Amos oughta remember this day well, too). During this chase, I blew out my shocks on a dirt road going over a "big bump" (Amos may remember that as well! LOL). Just this year, the van took a near lightning strike when a bolt picked off a transformer right over the van showering sparks down on us. Obviously, both of us felt some numbness in our hands and feet from the closeness of the bolt.

I think she enjoys the longer, overnight chases mainly cause of the feeling we're constantly doing something (meeting with other chasers, driving to and from, etc) as opposed to going out 200 miles to sit under the sun for hours on end. And while I haven't taken her out as often as you (maybe half-dozen times or so), I'm hoping to one day reward her with a blockbuster day of her own where she'll totally see me in complete euphoria!

 

[Paul Austin]

Great topic, Andrew. I would suggest that you first determine how passionate you are about stormchasing (difficult if you haven't been on a serious chase before). I say this because she might find it easy to convince herself that this is just a phase--that you just need to get it out of your system, and then you can settle back down to being the guy she fell in love with--not exactly the victory you are looking for. If your passion runs deep, it IS who you are. It is at least a small part of who she fell in love with. She needs to know the probability that this is not just the newest thing in your life.

I like Tim's suggestion that couples should have some areas of independence. It is part of what keeps relationships interesting (hopefully not often painfully interesting). If you can point out a passion of hers that she would have difficulty giving up, and compare your interest in chasing to her interest, hopefully she will begin to come around. Also, help her understand the minimalistic risk involved in informed responsible chasing vs. other nobel indeavors, and allow enough time for her to become informed; she won't be convinced overnight. And don't allow her to be misinformed by Hollywood or the media or YouTube; help her learn what it's all about from people who really know.

Now I'm beginning to repeat everyone else's comments, so I'll stop here. I'm not really an authority anyway, as my last girlfriend broke up with me while I was on a chase...but there were definitely other issues involved.

Best of luck...maybe she will be drawn in by the power of the dark side.

 

[Dave Nelson]

Hi Gang

Think I must be lucky, my wife, Cindy, loves chasing. She gets upset if I have a chase to go on and she has to work. I have to admit that I was suprised by her excitment with the first couple of chases we went on together here around the home region in Australia.
And as for our 5 week chasing trip to the USA in 2006, we had a ball.
It was great to meet up with some of you guys in Nebraska; Pete, Nick, Dan, Kurt and others.

my advice ... get her interested in weather, specially in the photographic aspect, it will make her feel part of the chase with a responsibility to get a good record of the storms. This will help to negate that "I'm just tagging along" feeling.
Do what you can to meet up with other chasers. Generally there are a good number of partner (husband/wife, etc) teams. and she will get to meet them and make new friends

good luck

 

[Patrick Martin]

Great topic Andrew, thanks for starting! Congrats on your upcoming wedding. I've blown out a knee skiing, twisted ankles hiking, and broken fingers playing softball. Can't say I've seen these happen chasing, and personally, I feel a heck of a lot safer driving in rural areas on a chase vs. my daily commute in Denver.

My wife has always known I was something of a wx nut since we met 14 years ago. We moved to CO from CT in 01 and in the spring of 05 I got turned onto actually chasing. Considering that in a well constructed house, she always cringed at a flash of lightning, and jumped at a clap of thunder, I was completely surprised when my wife said she wanted to go as well. The first chase either of us did was a 23 hour marathon with a tour group on 6/12/05 from Denver, to Jayton TX and back to Denver. We saw our first tornadoes together (thank you Roger & Caryn Hill), had lightning strike close a couple times, and was pelted by hail while shooting video, and we enjoyed every second of it! We've chased a few times together since, and I've gone many times without her. Even when she does not come along, she keeps an atlas handy to track where I am as I call her with updates. She definitely does not share the same level of passion that I have for wx and chasing, but I am extremely lucky that she not only understands what it's all about, but encourages it as well. I can thank her for talking me into keeping a WX Works system that I've had new in the box since Feb 06. Although the laptop to run it on is yet to be part of my chase equip, (which will be rectified before this spring) and after many discussions, she told me "If this is something you are really interested in, you will regret selling it, so you need to keep it and put it to use.", which I intend to do thanks to my other half.

When people hear for the first time about chasing, they seem to always ask the same question, "Isn't that really dangerous?". My response (as well as my wife's) is always the same, "only if you have done something horribly wrong or irresponsible". I don't want friends or co-workers getting the wrong impression that this is a daredevil hobby or it's done for a rush, so I always talk down the danger, talk up the safety and science, and put focus that it's not just about tornadoes, but that weather and storms as a whole are what makes chasing interesting. Hopefully you can do the same so that you and your other half can strike a balance that both of you are comfortable with.

 

[Ben Cotton]

Fortunately, my fiancee enjoys chasing too. However, I think the best thing you can do is explain to her how incredibly boring chasing actually is. That's always the first thing I tell people when they ask me about chasing. (As an added benefit, it generally gets them to stop asking questions!) Once she realizes that the bulk of your time will be spent driving or parked at some gas station in Iowa (the horrors!), she'll probably relax about it. Just remember, your biggest danger when chasing is teenagers in Mustangs.


BC

 

[JF Massicotte]

Here are my stats

Total injuries while playing hockey: 3
Total injuries while refereeing hockey: 2
Total injuries while refereeing soccer: 2
Total injuries at work: 2

Total injuries while chasing thunderstorms: 0

 

[Jason Doss]

It's your passion....just let it happen, she will come around. JF Massicotte said it best. Just don't be one of those guys running around out there...other true chasers know what I'm talking about.

 

[PeteMcConnell]

My wife gets mad at me for not holding the camcorder still, forget the fact that I occasionally risk my life to get the footage.

 

[Shane Adams]

There's two kinds of people: chasers and non-chasers.

There's two kinds of non-chasers: those who get it and those who don't.

It's been my experience that you can't change them. My advice is don't worry about the fiance, and just go chase. She'll respect your decision whether she agrees with it or not....or at least she should.