Dealing With The Aftermath

[Darin Brunin]

This is a topic that I have felt like starting a thread about for quite a few days but haven't felt comfortable talking about. I still don't know if I feel quite comfortable but feel that it will do some good in the end for others. I have hesitated to talk about this because I can only imagine whatever I have went through is infinitely worse for the people in and around Greensburg who were affected and that really has made me feel guilty.

Last summer I was talking to a chaser who arrived in Andover shortly after the F5 tornado in 1991. Hearing his horrifying story really kind of put into perspective what it was like to come into a heavily damaged area after a violent tornado, but nothing could prepare someone for what it's actually like to be there in person. People have tried to paint a picture of what it was like to be in Greensburg and have done a good job at it but still no justice is done. If you chase frequently enough, it will happen to you and you will personally deal with it how you feel necessary at the time and that's all that you can do. Keep in mind that it can be a tornado of any strength that destroys a town or even one person's life.

What I have haven't heard much of though, is how chasers deal with that experience in the time after the event. I avoided Stormtrack and other things dealing with chasing after May 4th because for a while I just didn't care. I had always wanted to see an F5 tornado but realized very quickly why they are rated that and it brings it into a whole new perspective once you do and why I never want to see another one. I guess part of the reason why I am starting this thread is because I am still up thinking about it at 4a.m. a couple of weeks after it happened and it's still having an effect on me. For probably a week or so after the event, I was having a very hard time dealing with everything. I had such a strong sense of guilt among other things that it made it hard for me to function as a person because all I was thinking about was Greensburg, Greensburg, and more Greensburg. I rarely slept....I didn't feel like doing normal things...basically I was sick to my stomach without actually being physically sick.

Looking back on the whole experience now, I can see the things that I have done to help myself move on in a sense and how if I would have known how to handle the situation a little better beforehand it would have ultimately made it a little easier in the end. I was wondering if any of you who have been in similar situations would be willing to give any pointers to help, not for me, but for people who will be in the same situation in the future so that they will have some knowledge beforehand to make the unwanted experience a little easier.

 

[Sean Mullen]

Darin, the bottom line here is that you're a normal person having normal reactions to an abnormal event. You can never be sure how experiencing something like this will affect you. Even Emergency Services folk can be affected by this kind of critical incident stress; most have mechanisms for debriefing and other resources built into their organizations. Sometimes the thing that makes it more real is a trivial thing, like a victim with the same birthday as you or a family member, or the same firstname, etc. Sometimes it's just the overwhelming scale of it all. I had a sinking feeling in my stomach when I read Mike Parker's post that night after he talked to you. You're describing very common reactions to a traumatic event. Here's a link that might be useful:
http://icisf.org/articles/Acrobat Documents/TerrorismIncident/CISInfoSheet.pdf
I don't know that there is really any way to prepare yourself for something like this. And remember that just because others were affected more directly than you, dosn't mean that you weren't affected.
This will take time for healing. You will get over this, and be okay. If it persists longer than you're willing to tolerate, get some short-term counseling. It will probably speed up the healing process. The Red Cross should be able to give you information on local resources.
Feel free to PM me with any questions.
Hope this helps. Hang in there.

Keep the faith
Sean

 

[Michael O'Keeffe]

Yeah after I saw destruction like that I had no sleep for a few days. I occasionally will have flashbacks of what I saw at random times during the day and it's kind of creepy. Though I don't think I was as affected as Darin, because I have seen multiple times strong F4 damage in Wichita a day after May 3,1999 and in Moore, OK after May 8,2003. Those areas were much more populated than Greensburg and scared me silly. I also did feel sick to my stomach during the whole Greensburg event during all of the choas. I've never been actually scared while watching a tornado but that time I was. I was shaking while trying to hold the camera. The sound of the wind, the fact that I was aware Greensburg was being hit, and all of the constant lightning was alot to handle. When we went into the damage path to help out I was at a loss of words. Just destruction everywhere. I can see why Darin was in such a state of almost a shock you could say.

 

[John Diel]

Even though there is no "real" way to prepare yourself for such an event, you shold at least try to expect it when out chasing. We've all seen the videos and the TV shows and you think to yourself "Yeah, I can handle that, ok". Until you've experienced it firsthand, you will never truly know.

That being said and a given: If you are unlcky enough to experience something like this, even on a small scale, GET HELP! It's one thing to attempt to be "macho" and try to get through it on your own. There's enough experienced people out there now that really can help.

After 17 years in Emergency Services of all types, I finally got to the point where I was ready to eat a bullet. I was a classic "burn-out" and it was a mish mash of everything over the years that finally drug me down. Since then, I've not forgotten those scenes, and even the dead still come to visit at night. I've learned to make friends with those I couldn't save rather than try to run-away though. Ironically, it was a friend of mine who had the same type experiences in Vietnam that pointed me to help.

There are still certain sounds to this day that bring back sudden memories, and I can "wig out" to the point where the sights, sounds and smells are right there. but they don't last long and I've gotten much better at dealing with them before they become a problem. I couldn't have done it without help though.

I think this needs to go for evey storm chaser, spotter, or anyone else that deals with this. When the warning box goes up and the sirens start to sound, mentally prepare yourself for the worst. Hope and Pray for the best, but really, expect the worst. Prepare yourself to help in called on. Be prepared for the sights you may see. For those actually called on to perform, get through it. Then find help. Find someone you trust and confide in them. Talk to your local firefighter, ems people and they can help. Don't try to go it alone. Talk it out here on the board even. Many can benefit from your experience.

There are always those that will tell you to suck it up and get on with life. Remember though that each individual will handle the same situation differently. Some better than others. Find the help you need and get the healing process started. Once you've done that, get on with life and be prepared to help others in need.

 

[beaudodson]

It takes time. You are human. We are all human and we all respond in different ways to events in our lives. A disaster like this can not be comprehended by most people. It is one thing to see the images on television and quite another to see them in person. You could be suffering from some sort of post traumatic stress disorder. This would be a normal response to a tragedy such as this. I would suggest talking to someone. Writing down you experience can help the healing process. Doing something for the community can also help. I went through this after my community was hit in 2003. It took me about a year to totally resolve some of the emotional issues associated with the disaster. I would expect you will go through the same. If you have a copy of the book "Under the Whirlwind" then I would strongly suggest reading the chapter on coping with disasters. There was also a book published after the Andover Tornado that contains some helpful information on coping with disasters. Someone else may remember the name of it.

There is certainly nothing wrong with talking about your feelings even when other people are hurting more than you. Even the "helpers" need help sometimes.

best wishes

 

[cdcollura]

Good day,

I experienced the aftermath of the Hallam, NE tornado in 2004 and it does "do things to you".

We are storm chasers, not disaster lovers or people looking to see people get hurt. Ofcourse, if any of us wanna see some violence, then we can catch a horror movie.

I seen hurricane Katrina first hand, and that was intense. Afterwards, I saw a man walking down the (nearly non-existant) street dazed and confused looking for his family. Later heard he was the only survivor.

I had nightmares for about 2-3 weeks, with many "scenes" like the "pool scene" in the movie Poltergeist - After witnessing the death in Katrina. Not good - Made me wake up screaming a week later.

And I chase these things - Like I said, to study and document it. Not to see death and people getting hurt.

I really feel for the people of the Greensburg event, and those UNLUCKY enough to see such a thing tearing apart many lives ;-(

 

[Blake Michaleski]

I didnt chase Katrina in the worst hit area, as I set up right here in Mobile, AL. But after the fact, it hit hard, the entire news casts for weeks were nothing but hurricane related, and channel 13 out of biloxi had what i remember was a new nightly show after the news that just talked about the hurricane and how things were coming. I did some filming in Bayou LaBatre, AL the day after and that area was hit hard and it hit me hard. I couldnt pull myself out of the grip of the TV. At work I heard terrible stories everyday. My grades started to suffer badly. I ended up withdrawing from classes for the rest of that semester. Having to basically live just outside of a diaster area for so long was the hardest part, extremely stressful and saddening.

It really helped to talk about it but only so much. Something that helped me was to focus on the good things that were happening over in Mississippi with the rebuilding. Also take the time to enjoy one of your other hobbies more. I did alot of fishing and tinkering with my Jeep. Went on a few good offroading trips.

 

[Randy Denzer]

Daren,
I applaude your honesty and willingness to talk about it now. I still can't seam to get a good nights sleep either and feel alot like you feel.

As a first responder we have a system in place that helps us deal with big and bad events. It is called CISM for Critical Incident Stress Management. It involves a series of "Debriefings" in which we speak with pears about our experience. We keep an eye on each other and "Talk" it out.
I have been using this system since the day we got back to Texas.

If you do NOT have a good support network I invite you to send me a message and I will give you my number. I may be able to hook you up. This goes for any other chaser who entered the city and experienced the overwhelming scene at Greensberg.
There is definatly a guilt that comes along with chasing (for fun) what ended up taking lives.

Again, Hats off to you for speaking up.

Randy

 

[Joey Ketcham]

I dealt with seeing the aftermath for the first time on May 4th, 2003. I came into Franklin, KS just minutes after the town got leveled by an F4 tornado. Franklin is not even 7 miles from where I live, so I knew people who lived in Franklin at the time so it became somewhat personal to me.

My sister in-law's mom and dad lived in Franklin at the time, plus I had a friend who's dad and brother lived there as well... I was on the phone with my brother when I first pulled into Franklin and all I remember saying was "Oh my god, Franklin is gone.. it's been destroyed...." and told him he and his wife needed to find out where her parents were at. Their house took a direct hit by the tornado.

It's rough to see such devastation, it's different than when you see it on TV or in newspaper... especially rough when it's a town not even 10 miles away and you know people there.

 

[Jay Crane]

What your going through is normal for any human. If anyone on here that in public safety or war and have seen dead bodies, etc you know what's going on. Everone reacts diffrent to certin situations. There are some people that say weird or kinda of off color jokes about death of a person weather it was in a car accident or tornado. It is kinda the same way with destruction of house's etc, it's not that the person is making fun of anyone or does not care. It's just that it's that persons way of dealing with death and destruction. It kinda of keeps your mind off of what the real situation is at hand.

 

[Megan Kotulak]

the name of the book was, Tornado: Terror and Survival. The Andover Tornado.