Back when I started, I dedicated my life to chasing. Really. I sacrificed everything to be able to chase, because I had nothing. In reality, a person as broke as I was/am should never have even started chasing. But I found my life's dream, so I grabbed that son-of-a-bitch with both hands and strangled it. I lived my life this way for several years, missing out on life events, developing/nurturing friendships, and destroying relationships. I regret none of it.
As I got older and became involved in a serious relationship that was obviously starting to become a "lifelong" type deal, around 2012, I started to do something I had never done prior during the storm chasing portion of my life: I started considering other people. I started to concern myself with how my chasing gambles and sacrifices would affect Bridget, who initially came out to be with me TO start chasing. But once we realized we were "in it" for life, that changed things. My 24/7 on-fire chasing passion could really send our normal, daily life into a tailspin, reaping the repercussions of my "caution to the wind" attitude about putting "normal life" on hold to chase. I started to see the stresses it was putting her under because, at the end of the day, she was always a Mom to two boys first, before she was ever a storm chaser.
So chasing, for the first time in my life since I began, stopped being my #1 priority. I could easily have stayed with the lifestyle and kept sacrificing everything myself, because chasing is all I want, still, at almost 48 years old. It's all I've ever wanted, and it will always be. But finding a balance is a responsibility I thrust on myself when I involved another person in my life, and because of that I've had to try and figure a way to channel/harness my chasing passion so that I don't let it override my daily life responsibilities. The problem for me is that, that way of thinking has become natural, and hence, it became a built-in excuse to pass on setups that were "too far away" or "too much of a longshot" or "in bad terrain."
The "secret" to my success during the years when I was killing it was simple: all I did was focus on chasing. Not sitting around taking forecast classes or reading textbooks, just thinking about chasing 24/7. It consumed me, and there was no room for anything else. The more I learned, the less I thought about things beyond the basic forecast/chase strategy. I was almost automatic, like each chase was scripted before I left the house, with a Plan B,C & D should Plan A go wonky. It didn't always mean success, but it guaranteed a focus on every chase that was the maximum effort I was capable of giving. That's as good as you can be.
My issue for the past several years has been that lack of focus, the inability to "turn off" real life concerns/problems/worries while out chasing. Letting those things creep into the back of my mind until they start to influence my decisions; let's not go so far, I have to work tomorrow....this is a huge gamble and we don't have enough money to chase that seemingly sure-thing setup four days from now. The kinds of things chasers who have responsibilities must worry about. The knowledge that regardless of what happens, unless you die tonight, you WILL wake up tomorrow and have to deal with the consequences of the next day.
So my struggle since 2012 more or less has been trying to find balance, more to the point, trying to figure out a way to maximize the few opportunities we get. Chasing 4-6 times a year wouldn't be an issue if we could nail 3-4 of those days. But when they ALL go to garbage, that's soul crushing. In fact the new analogy I've been using is, these endless, wasted seasons of nothing to show and little opportunity kill my horcruxes. If I started with seven, I've got about 2-3 left maybe.
I need chasing. I need tornadoes. I need it to validate myself. I don't mind saying that out loud, in fact I'll shout it from the rooftop. "Passion Twist Video" isn't just a clever brand name. "Passion" is the first word because it means something. I have to find ways to get tornadoes in my viewfinder again. I have to find ways to better ourselves personally/financially so that the odds of goal #1 are better and better. But mostly what I know is, I will never stop fighting that battle, until the day I stop drawing breath. Shane Adams is goddamned storm chaser. That's who I am. That's why I exist. All this other stuff is just the penalty for existing. Working, paying bills, holidays with family....all the stuff we all have to do because we're alive. But that's not living. Being out on the open road, smelling tornado fuel on a stiff southerly breeze, and watching that low, rotating base just west of you. THAT'S living. And that's what I'm chasing 'til the end of my days.
